Archive for November 12th, 2008

1.      Keeps me from enjoying life two ways: one, if I do it, I don’t enjoy life because I hate doing it, and two, if I don’t do it, I hate myself.

2.      In Fort Worth, women are more house proud. So if you don’t do your housework, it means you’re an even worse person than you are in the rest of the country. 

3.      Additional members of household have exponential effect on amount of housework.

4.      Training other family members to do housework brings markedly inferior results, unless a) they are girls, and b) they are over 13 years of age. And sometimes not even then.

5.      People come up with unrealistic expectations. Like, they decide to keep a zoo full of animals in their room and then think you can still keep it clean.

6.      No matter how well you do your housework, you only feel you’re just good enough, not great, and then if you live with other people, that good-enough feeling will last only a couple of hours until it’s messed up again.

7.      Cleaning the house exposes the dwelling’s other, more serious flaws.Such as missing curtains, dripping faucets, soft spots in the floor, you get the idea.

8.      You sons will not put their clothes in their dresser drawers. Either you put the clothes in the drawers or they will stack everything on top, then come to you because they can’t find their socks. Which fell behind the dresser, of course, but by that time, getting them out is a major undertaking. 

9.      You try to get the kids to do the dishes and they just shove everything in the dishwasher without organizing it or rinsing it off, resulting in a machine full of dishes with food particles permanently baked on.

10. Notice there are no jokes about husbands when they try to do housework. Enough said.

Please, tell me I’m not alone. Feel free to add your own top reasons!