Archive for August, 2009

The editor’s post about the male friends issue seemed to create quite a foment. I am here to clarify the problem at hand. I was the one who was complaining.

Now, I have no problems with male friends. I have always had piles of them. I value them very much, they have been there for me in crucial moments, and made up the majority of my socialization. I get two things out of these relationships – I can mate-search and hopefully also enjoy good conversation.

However, there are different types of male friends. There are those relationships with which Nietzsche would agree – those in which there is such revulsion that no attraction is possible. I haven’t had one of those.

There are those in which there is a tacit agreement not to hit on one another. We are intellectual friends who are probably slightly attracted to one another, but for reasons such as distance and temperament are not actively attempting to pursue a relationship – yet.

Then there are those in which I wake up one day and realize I have somehow gone from friend #2 to the unacceptable: female friend who has become male friend, and hears stuff that makes me go “TMI!” There is a difference between a guy casually mentioning other girls and telling me all about his gigs. At this point, I see no point for me to pursue the relationship further because I don’t want to be with this guy even in the abstract as I have been repulsed and the conversation has soured (we should have stuck to literature).

Now, there are all things in between. Sometimes there appears to be interest on his side in a relationship. But that can drag on and on and on – for years! At some point I start to wonder why I’m keeping him around (see, good conversation will have kept him around – but only for so long if he hits on me, as I will start to weary of the empty chase).

I suppose what it comes down to is that my male friends are guys who, by and large, I’d like to go out with (that’s why I don’t have male friends with girlfriends. That would just be weird.) – at least in the abstract! So, if he makes himself someone I wouldn’t want a relationship with – by, say, talking about other girls to excess, after all I don’t want to be that woman who in ten years writes Dear Abby to say her husband is always looking at other women’s legs and it’s driving her to the breaking point – then he’s walking a thin line.

I won’t be so extreme as my mother (I rarely am in views about dating, probably why I have the problems I have) and say that if he mentions someone else, he’s gone. But if he does it enough, the attraction fails and he may fall off my wagon. After all, in the life according to Pia, male friends are as rare and wonderful as rocks – metaphorically.

August 17th was our first day of “real” work at my school. We opened up with a meeting of all the teachers and then it was off to the classrooms to work on getting set up.

My situation, as a brand new teacher, was somewhat unique. Everyone else was trying to get all their teaching tools put away, while I was trying to figure out how to set up my room, make a few posters, cover the bulletin boards, and get my class list. My class was empty. I had no last year’s teaching tools to put away.

I felt helpless. Fortunately for me one of the other teachers came to my room, knowing I was new, and announced that she had a huge box of borders which had been left with her by a retiring teaching last spring. I looked through them. I found some borders decorated with globes, some with rainbow pencils, and some with apples and “welcome” spelled out. I could put colored butcher paper over the bulletin boards (a technique I learned from observing the classroom next door) then staple the borders around for an attractive display. I would have two subject-specific word walls and one large bulletin board for student work.

The colored butcher paper comes on huge rolls, like the rolls you see upholstery fabric on, and although there is a mechanism for tearing the paper off, it doesn’t work properly. So, as for the first time ever I tried to tear the roll away, it ripped. It was uneven. I felt foolish.  But I got a large piece of paper and carried it down the hallway.

“That paper looks pretty raggedy,” another teacher teased  me.

“This is just my practice run,” I told him. And in fact, it was. Hanging the paper, I had to learn to use the straight edge along the top, staple it in place, then let the paper hang down the bulletin board, staple that down the sides, work down to the bottom, staple it all, then go around the bulletin board with open scissors like an exacto knife and take off the excess.  When I was done, it was too messy, the paper hadn’t been big enough, I had to do it again.

If I can’t even put up a bulletin board, how am I ever going to teach my class, I wondered as I walked down to get more butcher paper. And will anyone notice that I wasted a whole bunch of paper?

No one noticed. The second time I brought three sheets of paper for the three boards and this time it went much better. I learned you can patch a corner that’s too short by slipping another same-colored piece under it and stapling — you can’t really see the rip. Then once the paper is up, you staple the borders around the edges. I broke a lot of staples doing that because the wood was pretty hard. I got it done. My bulletin boards looked great.

This was only one small battle, of course. I hadn’t yet made the posters, I hadn’t brought the plants I bought in yet, or the notebooks, and it still looked pretty bare. But they told me  my computer would be coming in today. And the posters are almost ready. And I keep telling myself over and over, with all the teachers in this world, all of them who had a first year and a first day in front of their own first class, and who made it, why should I be any different?

I feel like I’m at the edge of a tremendous sea, in a tiny boat, getting ready to embark. That’s an uneasy feeling, but it’s not necessarily a bad one. A lot could happen, and surely will.

My fellow Fortworthians, please do not let it be true that I am the only one incensed about the proposed closing of our pools and libraries. Pia says she will go and represent FWRenaissance tomorrow, though I will have to be at work. Hopefully, someone besides us will want to tell our City Council to become a little bit more “fiscally responsible.”

From a press release by the City:

FORT WORTH – City officials are ready to hear citizen input on the $1.2 billionbudget proposal, presented last week, which includes workforce reductions and cuts to some city services.

The City Council is set to vote on the budget Sept. 15. Before the vote, however, public feedback will be taken during five regularly scheduled City Council meetings, all held in the City Council Chamber on the second floor of City Hall (1000 Throckmorton St.) on the following dates and times:

• 10 a.m. Tuesday, Aug. 18
• 10 a.m. Tuesday, Aug. 25
• 7 p.m. Tuesday, Sept. 1
• 7 p.m. Tuesday, Sept. 8
• 10 a.m. Tuesday, Sept. 15 (public comment will be heard before final passage of the budget)

Fort Worth faces an extremely challenging budget on the heels of the national recession. According to City Manager Dale Fisseler, bridging the $59 million budget gap will not require a tax rate increase, but will most likely require cuts to some programs. Fisseler’s recommendation focuses on sustaining basic core city services with a particular emphasis on public safety.

View an overview of the FY2010 Proposed Budget on the city’s Web site.

For further discussion on the topic of the “friends zone” see later posts “why girls put guys in the friend’s zone” and “the male friends issue clarified”

One of my daughters has asked me what to do if a guy she likes wants to talk to her about his relationships with other women.

I did a double take. “Has he ever done this before?”

“Yeah, sometimes.”

I was upset.  I mean, what this guy tells her about is not her fault, but I was suprised that this guy and she were still talking after he mentioned his interest in other women. This is an ironclad rule: (sorry, @BillCammack dating genius, but I do have a rule or two) and  if he is talking about other women, he is toast. Immediately and permanently. If he’s a player, he’s a player. He’s done, off the list, vamoose, whatever.

Guys who talk about other girls cannot be trusted.

How do I know this? It’s simple psychology. Guys think in one straight line, they are not multi-taskers. Guys who like you will be concentrating on you, not on other women they know. If he talks about other girls in your presence, you can be sure the doesn’t like you. As such, he is a threat to your status as The Desired Creature and must be removed from the sample set.

Am I making sense? Maybe not. The point is: you only want guys around you who like you. Guy who don’t like you you need to be thrown out of the tank. What then? Go meet some more people, and find someone who does like you. Or go it alone until you do. If you’re alone, at least there’s a chance you’ll meet someone. Hanging around with some guy who doesn’t like you, you never will.

As Ice Cube was told in the movie Are We There Yet, “The friend zone is for losers.” Sorry, but I call ‘em how I see ‘em, and on this one, that call is very clear.

She traveled with her sister (shown driving) and her best friend. Then, upon arrival, she made a YouTube video of her photos as they drove , played to the tune of The Who’s Baba O’Reilly. They took the northern route, via the I40 by Flagstaff and Albuquerque. For those who haven’t been on it, the route goes through the Mojave desert, which lasts into Arizona, where the landscape turns into mountains and forests and Flagstaff. New Mexico is next, hilly, crossing the Painted Desert and lots of mesas. Finally, you cross the Panhandle Plains shortly after arriving in Texas; you go through Amarillo before veering south towards the metroplex. Note the striking change in the sky when they arrive in Texas, and the excitement as the Fort Worth skyline appears.

Personal Bloggers

The personal bloggers won the day this time with a variety of entries …. Kristen writes a post about expectations and realities and wrapping up her 9 year career in school PR. Writing of this caliber doesn’t usually appear on a blog … Kevin reflects on the girl who got away in a post called “ten years ago this weekend” … Emily sleeps with three remotes in her bed … Vee explains that yes, Virginia is her real name …

Surviving the Summer in Style:

Frugal in Fort Worth has a nice calendar of frugal events for this weekend …Kevin at Forthworthology has a list of things to do this weekend that lean more toward the clubbing angle and also notes that La Nouvelle Vague Film Festival runs through Sunday … Vee has given up Blockbuster for Redbox and she tells you how … and Francis has given us top ten activities to try during a heat wave

Arts and Culture

Lauren at Blue Eye Brown Eye visited the Nasher Sculpture Center, and she also filled me in that the name of her blog comes from the two different eyes of her dog … Roy Rivera has some interesting potraits up at his site, including a very young baseball slugger …. Dallas Photoworks is showing off an image that was commissioned by A-W Distributors for their official postcard of the new $1billion Cowboys Stadium in Arlington, Texas …. Austin notes that the Cattle Raiser’s Museum is moving from Sundance Square to the Museum District next to the Cowgirl Hall of Fame … and that the Ringling Brothers Circus is in town through Sunday …

Politics

East Fort Worth dentist Dr. Kenneth Pruitt has an ax to grind with Blue Cross Blue Shield, our local health insurance monopoly … Austin has a quick report on the Fort Worth Neighborhood awards for this year; apparently Ryan Place was the winner …

Social Media

It’s hard to change your relationship status on FaceBook, reflects Suzette (at least I think that’s her name) … as she goes from “single” to “in a relationship” she’ll probably have to give up a couple of her admirers ….

Let’s Not Forget Food

Francis has been to KFC for their new grilled chicken… and he says it was good, very good.  He did not use the words finger-lickin but you’ll get the point … Fort Worth Hole in the Wall visits the Tokyo Café … you’ll need to wade through the part about  football and the Aggie’s sketchy prospects but then yes, there is a review of the sushi and dumplings in there …

And finally, a parting image from Technology:

Dave at The Ranch offers us an image of the Worlds Largest Ipod.

After enjoying so much the before-reviewed Jodhaa Akbar Dean decided to order another Indian film from Netflix — the suspenseful Eklavya (2007, Oscar-nominated for Best Foreign Film). No romance this, really — more like a drama of family secrets, betrayals and score-settlings that centers around the near-perfect loyalty of Eklavya, a royal guard, and his need to meet his dharma, his purpose in life, of protecting his king at any cost. Threats arise  both from low-caste farmers over land rights and from the king’s own extended family.

Amitabh Bachchan plays a loyal palace guard with a tortured soul in "Eklavya"

The word “dharma” comes from the word “hold.” According to my simplified understanding, one’s dharma represents a kind of supernatural hold on them. The dharma asserts a person’s place in the universe, and by holding to one’s dharma an individual is by extension “holding” everything together. Eklavya has dedicated his entire life to the purpose of a single dharma given him by his mother upon his father’s death — he is to defend his king at all costs, or, as she says, “nine generations of our family will burn in Hell.”

Now an old man, Eklavya’s sight is growing dim, so that his detractors begin to mock his ability to protect the king. But his hearing is as keen as ever. Blindfolded, he can throw a knife straight to its mark by listening alone.

The family which he serves has its own secret desires and acts of vengence, and a palace guard like Eklavya cannot hold himself apart. Long before the movie opened, he became entwined and entrapped within the intrigue — and now it seems he will have to sacrifice either his dharma or that earthly relationship which is most sacred to him.

Yes, there will be murders in this film — yes, people will have mixed character, so that at moments you will not know whether a person is good or bad. Scenes of the palace are both stirring for their beauty, and haunting when tales of the cruelty the building has sheltered arise — and, as in a good suspense film, vengeance will be taken on the wrongdoers.

I was quite shocked, as I opened up the Fort Worth 2010 budget, to find the City of Fort Worth is considering closing a number of pools and libraries next year. This is the type of action a responsible city undertakes at times of severe budget crisis. I do not see the upcoming year, with a projected reduction in revenues of about $10,000,000, or about 1%, to be a state of emergency.

The police, as far as I can understand, are getting an increase of 5%. Maybe I don’t understand — undoubtably I don’t understand — but I didn’t think we needed any more police. I saw three today, radaring on the 820 and 35 freeways, and although I escaped without a ticket, probably by virtue of obeying the speed limit I wondered why they were working the radar so hard.

According to an idea of Fort Worth Vision, which I found in the same 2010 budget which proposed closing our public services, the City Council is planning that “By 2020, Fort Worth will be recognized as the most livable city in Texas.” How can that happen with closed  public pools and libraries? Just imagine, the real estate agent is taking a prospective new resident around to look at houses. “Oh, is that a library?”

Yes, but it’s closed.

“Why is that?”

The city council didn’t want to fund it.

“Is the City that broke?”

No, not really, we just don’t think libraries are our highest priority.

My next question, were I that real estate buyer, would be “Can we look at houses in Keller or Arlington?”

What an impression to make.

The new budget actually states that the real cause of the cuts proposed is not a decline in revenue. It’s in order to increase funding for retiree health care and pensions. This is not mandatory crisis spending. Have you noticed that all over people are out of work? Is this really the time to increase retirement spending?

I pay taxes to this City whether I’m rich or poor, whether I have a job or not, and I would appreciate if the few things I count on from the City, the libraries and pools, including Kellis Park Pool, which is in your district, were taken a little more seriously. I certainly don’t mean to sound disrespectful or dismissive of the City’s efforts up to this time. Fort Worth is a first-class city.

But let’s try a little harder to keep it that way than is suggested in the proposed 2010 budget.

You can bet my city councilman will get a letter about this one from me, and if you care about quality of life in the city, you might want to look over this list of cuts and consider chiming in too. I understand funds are limited, but our libraries and pools are critical to quality of life here.

The city council could keep the libraries and pools open for a wopping $1.50 per person per year. I don’t understand why they can’t find the money. Maybe they don’t need a public pool, because they have one at home and/or belong to a country club, and they don’t read books?

Go figure.

From a press release by the city:

The City Manager’s recommendation focuses on sustaining basic core city services with a particular emphasis on public safety with no increase to the property tax rate.

Reduce Services/Workforce

Program/Operational Reductions: $16M

• Suspend third allocation to Housing Trust Fund: $2M
• Reduce Medstar subsidy back to FY08 level: $2M
• Reduce maintenance of medians and eliminate maintenance of right-of-ways: $405,000
• Close Wedgwood Branch and Meadowbrook Branch libraries: $813,194
• Reduce funding to social services and arts nonprofits by 24 percent. Subsidies for grant funding provided to three agencies (The United Way ofTarrant County, the Arts Council of Fort Worth & Tarrant County and the Fort Worth Convention and Visitor’s Bureau), which would allocate funding to various nonprofit organizations: $779,000
• Reduce street and traffic operations and maintenance: $763,628
• Eliminate Parks and Community Services late night programs: $577,041
• Reduce Code Compliance districts from seven to six: $466,320
• Close all city pools except Forest Park for summer 2010: $444,961
• Reduce Illegal Dumping Program: $351,000*
• Close and evaluate future of Day Labor Center operations: $271,462
• Reduce after school programs at all Community Centers: $188,522
• Reduce Graffiti Abatement Program: $134,451
• Close Animal Care and Control Center two days per week: $103,000
• Eliminate summer youth track program and reduce adult sports programs: $47,645

Employee Furlough: $3.9M (represents a 3 percent cut in pay for general employees)**

• Columbus Day, 10/12/09
• Day before Thanksgiving Day, 11/25/09
• Christmas Eve, 12/24/09
• President’s Day, 2/15/10
• Good Friday, 4/2/10
• Friday before Memorial Day, 5/28/10
• Friday before Independence Day, 7/2/10
• Friday before Labor Day, 9/3/10

Workforce Reductions: Roughly $10M***

• Need to reduce workforce by 230
  • 114 filled and 74 vacant:
  • 42 voluntary retirements (city to offer $10,000 incentive for eligible retirees)

Employee Benefits:

• Earmark an increased annual contribution to Employees’ Retirement Fund of 2 percent ($5.4M), but refrain from disbursing the additional funds until a committee can submit proposal to change retirement benefits for new hires (possibly summer of 2010).
• Contribute an additional $5M to the long term liability of Retiree Healthcare Plan and eliminate city-paid benefits to those eligible to retire after FY2020.
• Establish Employee Health Clinic and Fitness Facility on a pilot basis: $1M
• Eliminate tuition reimbursement: $258,000
• Increase employee group health insurance premiums by 12 percent, or an average of 1 percent of employee pay, and eliminate Select Plan from Health Benefits Plan.

Reorganize/Outsource Programs

Outsourcing/Privatization: Cost saving unknown at this time

• Equipment Services Division: Evaluation/Request for Proposals during FY10 with target to outsource some services by October 2010.
• Information Technology Services: Evaluation/Request for Proposals during FY10 with target to outsource some city-wide services by October 2010.
• The Herd: Request for proposal to transfer to the Convention and Visitor’s Bureau.
• Other possibilities: portions of Aviation, Reprographics, City Cable

Organizational Transfers: $3.1M

• Public Events Department > Culture and Tourism Fund: $2.6M
• Capital Projects > Capital Projects Service Fund: $576,000
• Reprographics and City Cable > Community Relations Department
• Emergency Management Office > Fire Department
• Sunset Review > Organizational Analysis Unit
• Directions Home Program > Housing and Economic Development Department
• Aviation Department > Infrastructure Services

Increase Revenues

General Fund Fee Increases: $13M

• Lift the $3.2M cap on mineral ad valorem tax revenue: $6.7M (a portion of which will be used to maintain funding for the Directions Home 10 year homelessness plan)
• Assess payment in lieu of taxes for water and sewer properties: $4.2M
• Municipal Court contract for collection of over-due fines: $1.5M
• Increase various fees related to Parks, Code Compliance, Library, Planning and Development, and other services: $1M

Non-General Fund Fee Increases: $9M

• Water Bill changes beginning January 1, 2010 (for typical residential user): up $2.85 per month.
  • Water fee up 50 cents
  • Wastewater fee up 60 cents
  • Sanitation fee up 75 cents*
  • Stormwater fee up $1
  • Water bill late fee: An additional fee totaling 5 percent of the bill will be added to those delinquent payments (23 days or more after issuance of bill).
• Non-residential stormwater fees will increase an average 27 percent.

Other Cost Savings

• Reduce vehicle purchases by half: $1.5M
• Reduce uniform spending for non-civil service employees: $430,000
• Reduce number of city-paid cell phones/blackberries: $50,000
• Reduce car allowance for executives: $40,000

So you want to be followed by tens of thousands of people on Twitter? There are no guarantees, of course, but  I’ve assessed the potential for this, and I’ve noticed these characteristics of highly successful twitterers.

1) They develop and hone a unique persona.

2) They tweet a lot — at least 20 posts a day, sometimes much more.

3) They talk to others (@ message) constantly. When a new person @messages them, they really try to answer.

4) They use hyperlinks relatively infrequently.

5) They keep it positive, positive, positive.

6) Or they’re a celebrity. If you’re a celebrity, all bets are off.  I follow @DavidLynch, he almost never says anything, I don’t know if he writes his own tweets, but it’s kindof cool to follow him, he doesn’t need to prove himself on twitter, he just has to show up.