Archive for December 19th, 2009

Whose idea was it for me to work over my break?

Well, I’m back at the pharmacy after a year and a half of escape, because somebody (the editor) thought I should be productive and make some money for a change (truth be told, it’s a good idea, as it’s been months since I earned anything and I do anxietize over funds a lot – usually unnecessarily, but oh well).

So, I came home tonight after my second day, second 8 hour shift, to the usual “you will not believe what went on today! – insert tales of woe involving some teenage brother being, shall we say, confrontational -” I wished I could have countered with an exciting story of my own. Instead, all I could relate was 8 hours of pure commercialistic mundanity, as I stood behind the checkout, involving such things as….

- Spending five minutes explaining to a customer that no, they can’t use that coupon unless they spend $2 more, yes, I’m sure, no, cigarettes don’t count, yes, that’s after the other discount, no….

-Counting how many leopard print “Snuggies” (“It’s a blanket with arms!!!”) I sold

-Selling enough 3$ a bottle wine to fill a small swimming pool

-Not to mention enough chocolate to ruin more than a few New Year’s resolutions

-Becoming the ultimate broken record “Hi! Do you have your ____ card? Would you like a bag? Credit or debit? Have a nice day!” — Don’t forget the sometimes-sincere plasticine smile, of course

-Ten trips to restock the shopping basket rack

-Plastic-holiday-junk, ’nuff said.

-Not-making-eye-contact with particularly rude customers (you’d be surprised, if you’ve never worked in retail before)

-Looking at the clock several million times.

-Selling almost as much red and green tissue paper as cigarettes (that’s a lot of tissue paper)

-Hours looking at the nubby, slightly discolored utility carpet, rows of brightly colored candy bags, and the counter (slightly chipped). The juxtaposition isn’t enlightened.

-A large chunk of time spent running around the store, looking up sales, poring over the register readout, calling the manager (twice), redoing the transaction, explaining to the customer, and running about a bit more, all for “2 for 1″ lounge pants (unisex, but I wouldn’t recommend the pink ones for your husband).

-Trying to stay out of bitter coworker rivalries “Oh, she’s coming in…”

-Walking by our half-and-aisle devoted to….”As Seen On TV!” Complete with monitor showing the relevant informercials (“you just stick the onion in there, and, slap! it’s cut!”….”Sham-WOW!”….”I had this rash for months, and then….”)

-Three words: “Zhu Zhu Pets”

-Counting the seconds until 7pm.