For the proper recipe and directions, go here. For entertainment, continue reading.

My 15-year old brother had been pestering me to make fudge with him. We had done this once over the summer, when a flight of boredom and sugar craving had led to the following work of art:

This was our result in July.

This week, we were not so lucky.

So we start putting things in a pot. We begin to melt butter, add evaporated milk. Whisk it around for a bit. We decide to add the sugar, then the marshmallows. It becomes very fluffy…not the thick but fluid mixture that we are supposed to boil until it gets a “quilted texture.”

We have made a mistake.

We aren’t quite sure what, but we pull it off the heat and go consult an expert (The Editor, whose recipe book provided the directions we were working with). “You are supposed to boil it until ready, then take it off the heat and add the marshmallows and chocolate.”

Oh.

So we go back downstairs and look at the mess. We realize that any more heating is going to turn it into a solid block of mess. We quickly brainstorm if there is a way to rescue it into some other dish. Aha! Rice Krispie Treats have butter and marshmallows, right? We’re pretty close, we’ll just make that! We only had cornflakes, though, so we decided to make stuff for wreaths.

It didn’t….quite work.

First step: add food coloring to the marshmallow/butter/sugar/milk goop

Add cornflakes. Oh boy...that does not look tasty at all. Better add more food coloring. I am not even going to say what that looks like...

Ta-da! We made...alien candy. It tasted like candied corn flakes. Kinda like if you mixed mushy fudge and cereal. It was edible, but left something (significant) to be desired.