There is a seemingly infinite number of forms on my table. I took them off my desk because I couldn’t find the new computer, and kids who were trying to test out the new computer’s exciting music creation capabilities (silly kids, machines don’t create music, only people create music) were going to dump important papers over the side along with a bunch of junk.

I am sorry to tell you this but some of the papers are lost. Some need to be copied. Some should have gone out last week. Some have to do with debts. Others demand information that I may or may not be able to lay hands on.

I made some progress on paperwork this year. First, I decreed that any piece of paper I knew was going into the garbage goes now.

Second I made my purse into my “mobile office” that means the health insurance cards, cell phone and money are always kept in one place. Now if I could just find my purse.

I throw away the envelopes.

I make lists of phone calls and make them all at once.

This makes filling in forms much easier. But not completely easy. There’s still the aggrevation factor. Let’s face it: I just don’t want to fill in any forms! But if I don’t, the following bad consquences could happen:

1. Health insurance claims denied.

2. Kids won’t be able to go to camp.

3. Electricity, water or other critical home system shut off.

4. Checks bounce due to bad bookkeeping, have to pay extra charges.

5. Get to end of month, no  money, panic because I didn’t see it coming.

The worst part of all this household record keeping is: no one around here sympathizes with me. While I handle all the records — and I mean all of them — my husband gets away with jobs he enjoys such as cooking and easy stuff such as driving kids to events.

Is this fair?

I think I’ve arrived at that moment when older women tell younger women to “empower themselves.” But since I came out of a household of “empowered women” I don’t think that’s the answer either.

Besides, the truth is, no one else can handle this paperwork. I am the master. If I let them do it, they will mess it up. We can’t have that. Exegesis? I am stuck with these papers. I might as well enjoy it or at least take satisfaction. Because, as Gilda Radner said, it’s always something, isn’t it?