If you’ve been using twitter, you may be irritated when people send you auto-DM’s trying to sell stuff. Though most would say this stuff is just garbage, I decided to try to make something useful — a blog post — out of some DM’s I received this week, headlined and with my unsent commentary underneath.

Get followers faster than a speeding bullet:

DM: Thanks for the Follow! Would you Like to Know How to get 16’000 Followers in 90 Days and Make Money doing it?

(Well, at least he didn’t advertise a geometric progression of gaining followers. I still don’t believe this guy.)

Playing on Looking for Lonely Women:

DM: (This was from this cutie-pie-guy type avatar) Hi, Let me get to know you. @Reply me with your favorite RE investing method …

(Not sure what RE investing is or what this guy is after but either way I’m not interested … )

1000′s per day Online

DM: Learn First Hand How to Make $1000′s Per Day Online From Two 26 Year-Old Internet Millionaires!” We Can Teach ANYONE To Succeed

(If they can teach anyone to make 1,000′s a day online money isn’t going to be worth very much, for very long. The only people they’re really planning to help get rich is themselves.)

No Effort Required

DM: Want to know how to make money on Ad clicks with no effort, check this out.

(I’d love to make money with no effort but since I’ve never seen anyone make money without trying, except by inheriting, I don’t believe this one either.)

This one didn’t grate until I received it 4 or 5 times:

DM: Hey, thanks for the follow. I’m looking for four serious entrepreneurs. click here:

(Sorry, I am not an entrepreneur and if I was, I’d be in the garage or on the phone developing stuff, not messing around on Twitter. )

I’m Not Sure What You Mean, But Since You Mentioned Making Money I’m Suspicious

DM: Hello,Tweets is fun if you start getting lots of followers.You could earn some small money while having fun too .Just check this out, it is simple to set up and I can even do it for you

(ah, so it’s a pay-per-tweet scheme.)

Shades of Benjamin Franklin

DM: Thx, Let’s enjoy life & share success the Healthy, Wealthy & Wise Way.

To finish the rhyme: Early to be and early to rise makes a man healthy and wealth and wise. Nothing about Twitter in that rhyme, over 200 years old.

What do you do with these? I deal with these DM’s on Tweetdeck. Tweetdeck has an easy “other actions” button on DM’s. One of the other actions is “unfollow.” Now you know. You can add everyone who adds you, and just unfollow those who send these kinds of DM’s. Save time (but not money.) But you aren’t on twitter for money, are you?